i can't write, i can't think, i can't draw, i just...
grah! i want to throw things. and break them. glass things that shatter into tiny little pieces.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
assorted thoughts: fun-sized, just like a bag of candy.
how presumptuous it is of me to presume that i, with all my human error, may be capable of discerning right and wrong. am i not foolish in thinking that i may challenge the authority presented to me, even if it is god? should i not blindly follow as i am instructed, for it may be beyond my ability to understand? but if i cannot do that, do i have reason to even trust that i am understanding and interpreting correctly what i have been told?
we are told that we are sheep. should we simply continue to be sheep? maybe the kind and gentle shepherd is leading us to our deaths. should we not question him, because we are only sheep?
blind faith may be useful, even helpful at times. but we can say the same of deceit, cheating and a host of other things. it does not make it good. with blind faith we give ourselves up to chance. the blind man may get lucky, but that does not mean he can see.
i can still have confidence while being open to the idea that i may be wrong.
i've been standing over a threshold for a while now, one foot inside the door and one foot outside. every once in a while i stick my head all the way outside, and truly take a look at the world from that perspective. there's a part of me, a core made of habits and defaults, that violently recoils, pulling me back and telling me that i can't do that. it's at these moments i realize just how much those ideas are ingrained into my life. it's warm and familiar inside, maybe i should just go back in and shut the door. but i fear the foundation might be weak and rotten, i'm finding mold and mildew in places i hadn't noticed before. i'm sick of standing over the threshold, but moving either way is quite frightening, too.
how presumptuous it is of me to presume that i, with all my human error, may be capable of discerning right and wrong. am i not foolish in thinking that i may challenge the authority presented to me, even if it is god? should i not blindly follow as i am instructed, for it may be beyond my ability to understand? but if i cannot do that, do i have reason to even trust that i am understanding and interpreting correctly what i have been told?
we are told that we are sheep. should we simply continue to be sheep? maybe the kind and gentle shepherd is leading us to our deaths. should we not question him, because we are only sheep?
blind faith may be useful, even helpful at times. but we can say the same of deceit, cheating and a host of other things. it does not make it good. with blind faith we give ourselves up to chance. the blind man may get lucky, but that does not mean he can see.
i can still have confidence while being open to the idea that i may be wrong.
i've been standing over a threshold for a while now, one foot inside the door and one foot outside. every once in a while i stick my head all the way outside, and truly take a look at the world from that perspective. there's a part of me, a core made of habits and defaults, that violently recoils, pulling me back and telling me that i can't do that. it's at these moments i realize just how much those ideas are ingrained into my life. it's warm and familiar inside, maybe i should just go back in and shut the door. but i fear the foundation might be weak and rotten, i'm finding mold and mildew in places i hadn't noticed before. i'm sick of standing over the threshold, but moving either way is quite frightening, too.
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