i have so many things i want to say, to furiously type down into a journal entry, a blog entry. rehearsed them all in my head, one thing after another, but now that this keyboard lies wait in front of me, they fade into thin, wispy strands of thought. not quite as coherent or complete as they once were. i want to take a recording of my mind, corral those thoughts into a place that i can access easily at my will, rather than relying on unstable memories of unstable thoughts, which always seem as if they were better the first time i thought them. (maybe they really aren't. ha)

you compared me to a marble, bouncing heedlessly off vanishing walls of emotion. i had a hard time being insulted, i thought the imagery was kinda good. (ha) but maybe i'm not so much a marble, as a canvas with a painting. too often i let passersby pick up their own paintbrushes of emotion and feeling and thought and change a little bit of my painting to make them a little bit happier about the picture they're seeing. i think it's no big deal, i can scrape off their paint later and have my original back, to change how i see fit.

but can i?

or will my painting loose itself under the brush strokes of others and begin to exist only as an everchanging landscape to please the viewer? make them a little bit happier for a little bit of time?